


Smashed

by mythomagicallydelicious



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: ? - Freeform, Angst, Drinking, Gen, Light Swearing, The Magic Copy Machine, Vomit, bad choices, don't photocopy your butt on a magic printer, possibly the worst thing i've ever written, the copy machine, this one is kinda gross, upset/angry stan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-05
Updated: 2017-05-05
Packaged: 2018-10-28 07:18:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 594
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10826445
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mythomagicallydelicious/pseuds/mythomagicallydelicious
Summary: Stan faces a strange situation as a result of a questionable choice under the influence of high stress and lots of alcohol.





	Smashed

**Author's Note:**

> This one is kind of gross. Possibly the worst thing I've ever written. You've been warned. I had been awake for like two days and for some reason this idea cracked me up, so I wrote it. I'm actually pretty tired now. Might hate that I posted this later. Oh well.

The first few years were hard on Stan. Living with the guilt and trying so hard to find what he’s looking for, learning all of the things his brother had to do before creating the portal, but with less than anything Ford had started with.

Failure after failure. Couldn’t find the journals. Couldn’t start the portal. Couldn’t find the journals. Couldn’t understand the journal. It was never ending.

And on top of that he had to run a business. He was rooting around in what was a second office or something where he saw the copier. He hadn’t tried to run it before because none of the buttons made sense.

_Why’d ya have to make things so dam complicated, Poindexter?_ Stan thought. Usually his mind was a whirlwind of guilt and anger at himself, and sadness, but tonight was not one of those. Tonight he let himself be angry at Stanford for everything that had happened. For blaming him, for cutting him off, for never even asking what he’d done the ten years apart. Stan was _mad_. He’d also had a few too many drinks of something stronger than Pitt Cola that night. He’d built up a pretty strong resistance over the years to the stuff, but that night he got completely wasted.

He tore through the shack, knocking over exhibits and tearing at the walls. He stood at the door he’d hidden behind wallpaper and pounded on it, angry he’d locked himself out of it.

_He needs to know how it feels to lose everything. What’s all these nerd inventions done for him? Just messed everything up!_

Stan stumbled around, drunk and somehow landed in the second office. He fell over and knocked into the copier, and it jarred to life. Stan made his way off the floor and stared at it for a second before an idea popped into his muddled brain. Opening the top of the printer, he sat down on the scanner, sans his pants.

Laughing like a madman he waited for the copy to come out, thinking about the look on Ford’s face when he’d tell him how he used his stupid copier.

That laughter turned to confusion as he held up the paper and it jumped to life. The page became 3D and jumped off the page. Standing (sitting?) before Stan was the weirdest shit he’d seen since he came to Gravity Falls. His photocopied butt come to life and on the ground in front of him.

That was just one more messed up thing Stan couldn’t take. Totally freaked out, he heaves, throwing up all over the butt copy. It dissolves back into nothing, just bits of paper in a soggy puke heap on the ground Stan stumbles out of the room and crashes on the floor next to the stairs.

When he wakes up in the morning he has a serious hangover and a vague dream of having been chased by his own butt. Looking around he groans, getting up and slowly pulling himself together the best that he can. He hadn’t scheduled any tours for the day, so at least he had some time by himself. Walking around, he came back to the office. Saw the mess on the floor, realized that whatever happened was because of that weird copier. After cleaning up his mess he came back and took a bat to the dam machine.

Not gonna let himself get into that weirdness again. Part of him was sorry to wreck another of Ford’s inventions, but he thought his brother would understand this time.


End file.
